Two Irishmen are looking for a job. They come across a sign, that reads, ""Tree Fellers"". Pat and Murphy look at each other and exclaim, ""If only Seamus was here, we would've had the job!""

Seamus and Murphy wanted to go out drinking like respectable Irishman, but they didn't have alot of money... Between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said to Seamus ‘Hang on my friend, I have an idea.’ He went next door to the butcher’s shop and came out with one large sausage. Seamus said ‘Are you crazy Murph? Now we don’t have any money left at all!’ Murphy replied, ‘Don’t worry – just follow me.’ He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pin…

Murphy and Seamus Two Irish pilots, Murphy and Seamus, are flying a Ryanair Ltd. jet on its final approach at Cork Airport. Murphy says: “BuayJesus! Maury an' Josefff! Look how short this runway is.” Seamus replies: “Yes, but look how fookin' wide it is!”

Seamus and Murphy wanted to go out drinking like respectable Irishman but they didn't have alot of money...