Seamus and Murphy wanted to go out drinking like respectable Irishman, but they didn't have alot of money... Between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said to Seamus ‘Hang on my friend, I have an idea.’ He went next door to the butcher’s shop and came out with one large sausage. Seamus said ‘Are you crazy Murph? Now we don’t have any money left at all!’ Murphy replied, ‘Don’t worry – just follow me.’ He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pin…

Bob the Sailor, and Ollie the Octopus Bob the sailor walks into a bar carrying a large octopus. He announces to the bar that this octopus can not only talk, but he has a very unique talent which he will share with the crowd for $50 a turn. Bartender says ""There's no way that octopus can talk."" ""Sure he can. Ollie, tell the nice folks you can talk."" says Bob. ""He's right,"" says Ollie the Octopus, ""I can talk. I can also play any musical instrument."" ""True story!"" Says Bob the sailor "".…

Two Irishmen are looking for a job. They come across a sign, that reads, ""Tree Fellers"". Pat and Murphy look at each other and exclaim, ""If only Seamus was here, we would've had the job!""

paddy and seamus are sitting at the pub, havin a pint, when they watch out the window as pastor richards knocks on the door of the brothel and is let it. 'tis a shem...' - says paddy. 'aye... tis a shem' - says seamus.. ' that a man of the lord should succumb to the sins of the flesh.' another pint or three later and they notice rabbi goldstein knock on the brothel door, and be let in. 'tis a shem' - says paddy. 'aye- tis a shem..' say's seamus. 'that a man of faith, whatever that is, should be …