A vampire checks into a hotel... A vampire checks into a hotel downtown, and asks the bell-hop to carry his luggage up to his room. When they arrive, the vampire sinks his teeth into the boy, sucks out every last drop of blood, and throws him out the window. His dead carcass lands on a man who's waiting at the bus stop down below. The vampire then calls the front desk and asks for a bell-hop to be sent to his room. They send one, he knocks on the door, and the vampire grabs him, pulls him into t…

The Vampire's Wish-long Boris took a break from polishing the deep, rich, black paint on his cherished Chevrolet Impala. His thoughts drifted back to the fine April day in nineteen sixty-three when he first saw the car sitting on the showroom floor. It was only a matter of hours before he'd purchased the car, and was driving it with the convertible top down. The dazzling mid-day sun glistened off of the chrome as his wavy black hair blew in the breeze. Within a few months, his bright world would…

Two nuns sitting in a car at lights... ... when Dracula jumps on the bonnet and roars an evil roar. ""Quick, show him your cross!"" ""Oi Dracula, get off my damn car!""

Two (more) nuns (The [other two nuns joke](http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/17mc11/there_were_two_nuns/) reminded me of this one so had to post) Two nuns are out driving when a vampire drops onto the bonnet of their car. ""Quick sister,"" screams one nun, ""Show him your cross!"" So the other nun leans out of the window and shouts, ""Get the f#ck off our car before I get out the car, rip your balls off and shove them down your throat, you little s#it!""