Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven? Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.

Bran Muffins An old couple, he 85 years old and she 83, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due to the wife's interest in health food and exercise. When they reached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, master bath suite, and Jacuzzi. As they gasped at the splendor of their estate, the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. ""It's…

Donald Trump's Clock It's a slow day in heaven, so St. Peter decides to show a new guy around. St. Peter shows him all of the sights: the golf course, library, observation deck, cafeteria and a huge room full of clocks. ""What's up with those clocks, Peter?"" ""Everyone on Earth has a clock that shows how much time he has left. When a clock runs out of time, the person dies and comes to the gates to be judged."" The guy notices that some of the clocks are going faster than others. St. Peter tell…

Jesus and Saint Peter are playing a round of golf... They approach a par four that bends left around a small pond then straight to the green. Saint Peter decides to play it safe and hit to the turn then layup to the green. Jesus then tees up and looks left over the pond toward the green. JC:""What do you think Peter? Think I can make it to the green in one over the pond""? SP: lol Mac:""Well what would Arnold Palmer do?"" SP: ""Well, Arnold Palmer would make it on in one with his 7 iron from her…