A Jewish guy goes into a Catholic confession box... ""Father O'Malley,"" he says, ""my name is Emil Cohen. I'm 78 years old. Believe it or not, I'm currently involved with a 28 year old girl, and also, on the side, her 19 year old sister. We engage in all manner of pleasure, and in my entire life I've never felt better."" ""My good man,"" says the priest, ""I think you've come to the wrong place. Why are you telling me?"" And the guy goes: ""I'm telling everybody!""

Father O'Malley answers the phone... ...""Hello, is this Father O'Malley?"" ""It is."" ""This is the IRS. We'd like to ask you a question."" ""Yes, what is it?"" ""Do you know a Mr. Michael O'Donohue?"" ""I do."" ""Is he a member of your flock?"" ""He is."" ""Did he donate $20,000 to the church?"" ""He will.""

The Young Nun A young nun was assigned by the Mother Superior to help old Father O'Malley with his Sunday night bath. The next morning, the older nun asked the young girl if she had had any difficulties. ""Oh no,"" the nun smiled. ""As a matter of fact, I attained eternal salvation."" The Mother was puzzled. ""What do you mean?"" ""Well, Father O'Malley took my hand and put it between his legs. He told me that right there was the key to heaven. Then a miracle happened. The key to heaven grew in …

Proud Old Man A Jewish guy goes into a confession box. ""Father O'Malley,"" he says, ""my name is Emil Cohen. I'm seventy-eight years old. Believe it or not, I'm currently involved with a 28 year old girl, and also, on the side, her 19 year old sister. We engage in all manner of pleasure, and in my entire life I've never felt better."" ""My good man,"" says the priest, ""I think you've come to the wrong place. Why are you telling me?"" And the old guy says: ""I'm telling everybody!""