Topical Jokes This week, the Price is Right gave away a treadmill to a contestant with no feet. And to make matters worse, the next contestant was blind -- and he won a pair of prosthetic feet. In Florida, a woman being held at knifepoint was rescued when she texted Pizza Hut to call 911. The woman had been in a similar situation previously, when her house caught on fire -- and she called Wendy's. After the woman was set free, she celebrated -- by ordering a pizza from Papa John's. In Indiana, a…

A newel married women is looking to book for honeymoon A newly married Women goes a travel agent & says, ""Can you give me a great deal on a Honeymoon package"" Agent: We have a $8000 package to Hawaii for 3 nights / 2 days including Flight, Hotel & Food Women: Do you have a cheaper package? Agent: We have a 2 Nights / 3 Days package to Florida Keys that includes travel, hotel & Drinks for $5000 Women: Do you have a package cheaper than this? A better deal? Agent: We have a special o…

A 17-year-old boy who works part-time at Pizza Hut drives up his parent's driveway in a Porsche.... Naturally, his parents know that there's no way he earned enough with his after-school job to buy such a car. ""Where did you get that car?"" his mom and dad screamed in shock. He very calmly tells them, "" I bought it today."" ""With what money young man?"" his mom demands. ""We know how much a Porsche costs and you cannot afford it"" ""Well, it's used and I Got a good deal"" says the boy, ""This…

TIL: There is a chemical compound that can be extremely deadly to humans, is most of the time in food, and is not always government regulated. Each year, Dihydrogen Monoxide is a known causative component in many thousands of deaths and is a major contributor to millions upon millions of dollars in damage to property and the environment. Some of the known perils of Dihydrogen Monoxide are: Death due to accidental inhalation of DHMO, even in small quantities. Prolonged exposure to solid DHMO caus…