Topical Jokes This week, the Price is Right gave away a treadmill to a contestant with no feet. And to make matters worse, the next contestant was blind -- and he won a pair of prosthetic feet. In Florida, a woman being held at knifepoint was rescued when she texted Pizza Hut to call 911. The woman had been in a similar situation previously, when her house caught on fire -- and she called Wendy's. After the woman was set free, she celebrated -- by ordering a pizza from Papa John's. In Indiana, a teenager took his 93-year-old great-grandmother to prom. The teen asked his great-grandmother to prom after getting turned down by every girl at school, a couple of lunch ladies, and even a few guys. In Spain, a suitcase going through an X-ray was discovered to have an 8-year-old boy inside. The boy explained that he was flying super-ultra-economy. ...and to make matters worse, while he was going through the X-ray, airport security noticed that the boy had a brain tumor. Social Security is expected to be bankrupt by 2033. So if you're approaching retirement, Congress has asked that you please start aging in reverse.