Soviet Union. 2 AM. Rabinovich is woken up by a knock on the door. **Rabinovich**: Who's there? **Voice**: Post office. Rabinovich opens the door. Two KGB agents are standing there. **KGB**: Tell us, Comrade Rabinovich, what is the best government system in the world? **Rabinovich**: Why, Communism. **KGB**: And what country has the best living standards? **Rabinovich**: The Soviet Union, of course. **KGB**: And what constitution is the best at protecting the rights of the citizens? **…

An unsung legacy of Bill Clinton's presidency is that since he left office, no sitting President has shot a load on a non-spouse.

there should be some kind of National Dog and before any politician gets sworn into office we have to see how the dog reacts to them

My parents think im a virgin. My boss thinks Im an excellent employee. The government thinks Im an outstanding citizen. Where's my Oscar?