How do you get two priest to fight to the death? Throw a small boy between them. How do you kill the other you ask? Throw in Michael Jackson.

So Farrah Fawcett went to heaven... ...and God said to her, ""Farrah, you lived a beautiful life. You were kind, and sincere, and generous to everyone you met. You never acted out of self interest and as a reward...I am going to grant one wish. Anything you want; just name it."" Farrah thought for a minute. Then it came to her. She smiled and said, ""I just want all the children of the world to be safe."" *Okay, Reddit -- if you have a better Michael Jackson joke...I wanna hear it*

What would Michael Jackson be doing if he were alive right now? Scratching the hell out of his coffin lid.

Bill Gates suddenly dies... ...and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, "Well Bill, I'm really confused on this one. It's a tough decision; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95 among other indiscretions. I believe I'll do something I've never done before; I'll let you decide where you want to go." Bill p…