What would Michael Jackson be doing if he were alive right now? Scratching the hell out of his coffin lid.

what does the Bible say about faking your own death to get out of jury duty

*on death bed* priest: any regrets my child? *montage of every time i saw a large dog and didn't try to ride it* me: uhhhhh

God: make alcohol really fun Angel: haha ok God: but it makes them stupid Angel: i dont know if- God: and if they have too much they die