Some funny pick up lines Do you have a map? Cause I just got lost in your eyes. If your left leg is Halloween, and your right leg is Christmas, CAN I COME IN BETWEEN HOLIDAYS? My love for you is like diarrhea, i just can't hold it in. If i said you had a hot body, would you hold it against me? Nice legs...what time do they open? Um…I have a lotta money. Hey baby, did you just break wind? Cause you're blowing me away. Hey. Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you …

A joke about babies and cocaine What's the difference between a baby and a big bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would NEVER let a big bag of cocaine fall out a window!

Zebra dies and goes to heaven. When he arrives at the Pearly Gates, St. Peter greets him and informs him that all newcomers to heaven are allowed a single question to ask of The Almighty. Pete gestures to a magnificent pedestal nearby and says to Zebra, "just step up there and ask away." Zebra walks over to the pedestal and nervously steps on. The pedestal immediately illuminates with blinding light and a booming voice from above echoes, "WHAT TRUTH DOES THY SEEK MY CHILD?" Zebra looks up an…

What do you have if you have one fuzzy, green ball in one hand and another fuzzy, green ball in the other hand? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention.