The Vampire's Wish-long Boris took a break from polishing the deep, rich, black paint on his cherished Chevrolet Impala. His thoughts drifted back to the fine April day in nineteen sixty-three when he first saw the car sitting on the showroom floor. It was only a matter of hours before he'd purchased the car, and was driving it with the convertible top down. The dazzling mid-day sun glistened off of the chrome as his wavy black hair blew in the breeze. Within a few months, his bright world would…

Some funny pick up lines Do you have a map? Cause I just got lost in your eyes. If your left leg is Halloween, and your right leg is Christmas, CAN I COME IN BETWEEN HOLIDAYS? My love for you is like diarrhea, i just can't hold it in. If i said you had a hot body, would you hold it against me? Nice legs...what time do they open? Um…I have a lotta money. Hey baby, did you just break wind? Cause you're blowing me away. Hey. Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you …

A joke I received from my cousin this morning. 4 drunk guys entered a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine, kept it started for 5 mins then turned it off again. He then told them"We have reached". The 1st guy was too drunk.Without saying a word he got out of the taxi. The 2nd guy gave him money. The 3rd guy got out and said "thank you". The 4th guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked, he thought the 4th guy knew what he did. But he asked "what was…

Why do you make more money? A heart surgeon takes his Cadillac to his mechanic to get his engine fixed. When he returns a few days after to pick up the car, the mechanic calls him over to show him something. He says, "Okay Doc, I've changed the seals out and fixed everything up but I have one question. The engine is to the car as the heart is to the body. Why is it that you make some much more money than me?" The doctor examines the engine carefully and says, "try fixing it while the engine is…