Do you know what George Washington would be doing if he were alive today? Scratching like hell at the inside of his casket.

Benjamin Franklin and George Washington walk into a bar and sit down next to Trump. Franklin turns to Trump and says: ""I do not believe you understand the value of liberty, my good fellow."" Trump turns to Franklin and gives him a $100 dollar bill and says: ""Of course I do. Money rules this world, Mr. Franklin. That's all I need to know!"" Trump taps Franklin's portrait on the bill. ""Now leave me alone!"" Franklin scoffs at the gesture and walks out the bar. Washington is shocked and loudly e…

Osama bin Laden dies and goes to heaven . . . . . . . . So he's waiting at this gate when all of a sudden, George Washington comes out. ""You attacked the country I helped found!"" and beats the crap out of him. Then he goes back inside and Thomas Jefferson comes out. ""You hate the Declaration of Independence that I wrote!"" And beats the ever-loving shit out of him. Then he goes back inside. The James Madison comes out. ""You son-of a bitch . . .""and starts beating Osama some more. ""Oh Merci…

Bill Gates suddenly dies... ...and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, "Well Bill, I'm really confused on this one. It's a tough decision; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95 among other indiscretions. I believe I'll do something I've never done before; I'll let you decide where you want to go." Bill p…