Obama goes to hell Barack Obama has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell, where the Devil is waiting for him. ""I'm not sure what to do."" says the Devil. ""You're on my list, but I have no room for you. As you definitely have to stay here, I'm going to have to let someone else go."" ""I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let you decide who leaves!"" Obama thought that sounded pretty good, so he agrees…

Why was Putin late for dinner with Obama? Because he got Snowden.

President's Day jokes Q. Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping? A. Because he couldn't lie. Q. What do you call George Washington's false teeth? A. Presidentures! Q. What would George Washington be if he were alive today? A. Really, really, really old! Abraham Lincoln made many humorous quotes and jokes in his lifetime: It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues. Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. Better to re…

What's with all the clocks? A man who recently died had a meeting with God. He was waiting outside, looking at a large wall of clocks outside his office. God stepped out to invite him inside. **M:** Hey, what's with all these clocks? **G:** Ah, this is the wall shows every lie everyone has ever told. The lies are represented by clocks. Every time someone tells a lie, the clock moves 1 minute. **M:** Wow there's a lot of people up here. Look, George Washington's clock never moved! Mine is at …