Did you hear about the new Christmas restaurant downtown? They have an eggs Benedict dish that they service on car hub caps - it’s called “there’s no plates like chrome for the hollandaise”

Have you heard about the Tempura Shelter they are opening downtown? It's a center for lightly battered women.

Why was most of Jesus' walk downtown very awkward? Because his friend asked him when he thought they should cross.

How's the new Chinese restaurant downtown? Eh... It's tso-tso.