Racist St. Peter Saint Peter is sitting at the Pearly Gates when two guys wearing dark hoodies, and sagging pants, arrive. St. Peter looked out through the Gates and said, "Wait here. I’ll be right back." St. Peter goes over to God's chambers and tells him who is waiting for entrance. God says to Peter: "How many times do I have to tell you? You can't be judgmental here. This is heaven. All are loved. All are brothers. Go back and let them in!" St. Peter goes back to the Gates, looks …

An engineer dies and reports to the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter checks his dossier and not seeing his name there, accidentally sends him to Hell. It doesn't take long before the engineer becomes rather dissatisfied with the level of comfort in Hell. He soon begins to design and build improvements. Shortly thereafter, Hell has air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators. Needless to say, the engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day, God calls Satan and says: "So, how are things in Hell?" Satan…

A bunch of scrap metal dealers are all killed together in a bus accident… They end up at the pearly gates and are greeted by St. Peter. Peter: What are you guys supposed to be? A big dirty guy in the crowd: We’re scrap metal dealers! Peter: How come there are so many of you? Big guy: We were at a scrap metal convention and were killed on the same bus. Peter: This is highly unusual. I better go check with the boss. Peter leaves the group waiting and goes to see God on his throne. Peter: …

Teacher: Now, Peter, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating? Peter: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.