It's the end of the 2016 Presidential Race.... and the people of the US hated all the candidates so much that nobody voted. The government is in a panic trying to figure out what to do to decide who the next president will be. Finally, Barack Obama comes up with an idea: a literal presidential race. The three candidates would run a lap around the White House and the person with the best time would become president. Bernie Sanders goes first, but being as old as he is, he takes about 24 minutes. …

What are the first few things Donald Trump will do as President * Turn the White House lawn into a expensive golf course for rent * Build a huge wall around the White House and make the visitors pay for it * Pass an executive action to cancel the 2008/2012 election alleging that Obama was not born in this country what else?

Hot Coffee... HOT COFFEE Gotta love those grand-kids .. I was eating breakfast with my 10-year-old Granddaughter and I asked her, ""What day is tomorrow?"" Without skipping a beat she said, ""It's Presidents Day!"" She's smart, so I asked her ""What does Presidents Day mean?"" I was waiting for something about Obama, Bush or Clinton, etc. She replied, ""Presidents Day is when the President steps out of the White House, And if he sees his shadow, we have another year of Bull Shit."" You know, it …

Obama wakes up on a snowy morning at the White House and looks out the window ...to see someone has peed ""OBAMA SUCKS"" in the snow. He asks the secret service to investigate. They come back and say, ""sir we have bad news and worse news. The bad news is, Biden did it."" ""What's worse than that?!"" Says the president. ""Well sir, the worse news is, it was Michelle's handwriting.""