A preacher was winding up his temperance sermon with tremendous fervour. "If I had all the beer in the world," he roared, "I'd take it and throw it into the river." And the congregation cried, "Amen!" "If I had all the wine in the world," continued the preacher, "I'd take it and throw it in the river." And the congregation cried, "Amen!" "If I had all the whisky and rum in the world, I'd take it and throw it in the river." And the congregation cried, "Hallelujah!" With that, the preacher sat down. The song leader then stood up very tentatively and announced: "For our closing song, let us sing hymn number 365, 'Shall We Gather at the River . . .'" I like Jesus, but he loves me, so it's awkward. Tom Stade