With Jesus now! 18+ Young David came home from school one day and found his pet chicken laying on the ground with his legs pointing straight up into the sky. When his father got home, he explained that the chicken has died and his legs were pointed up to Jesus in heaven. They buried the chicken and that was that. Two weeks later his dad came home from work and David ran up to him yelling, ""Daddy, Daddy, we nearly lost Mommy today."" ""What?"" his father replied. Hope this one doesn't upset anyo…

A cattle farmer had three sons... Mark, Jakob, and David. Mark and Jakob weren't much for farm life. Mark took off at 16 for the city, and didn't come back. Jakob waited until he completed college, whenceforth he became a businessman and lawyer. David, however, stayed with his father on the farm his whole life to continue raising cattle. Eventually the farmer grew old and ill. On his death bed, he had managed to call for all his sons to come see him in the hospital. Mark wanted nothing of the fa…

It was career day in Elm Park Elementary School... and each student had to write about their dad's profession. Ruby wrote about her dad being a doctor and David wrote about his dad being a construction work. When the teacher asked Johnny he said, "My dad is a pimp and a drug fiend." "What?!?! Johnny, be honest. I know that's not what your dad does!" "You're really gonna make me to tell the entire class that my dad is a banker?!"

"Hey mom can Kyle come over?" mom: Kyle from your school or Kyle who is really bad at finishing other people's- [From outside] LOOFAS!