Long: An underaged ginger walks into a bar... The bartender ask for his ID. The ginger stops, making a big show of reaching into his wallet and pulling out an obviously fake card. ""What do you think yah trying to pull?"" says the bartender, ""This ain't no underage drinking bar. Scram punk!"" So the ginger gets kicked out on the street when he sees a grocery store. He picked up a six-pack of beer and tries to casually purchase it, along with a bag of Cheetos. The cashier notices and says, ""Wha…

Ruger I used to work at Ruger. Everyone knows it as Ruger, but it's actually Sturm, Ruger & Co. I don't know who this ""Sturm"" guy is, but he's obviously getting the short end of the stick. I was lucky in that I live less than 10 minutes from there. Although, to be honest, isn't it all relative? I mean, if my car breaks down, suddenly I live a lot more than 10 minutes from there. They're known of course for their firearms, but they also make golf clubs. No matter what you're buying from Rug…

Please read in Steven Wright's voice... I was driving my friend around and he told me he was hungry. Asked if I'd take him to the drive-thru. I said yes. I pull up to the place and we wait in line for about five minutes. Finally it's our turn. The lady asks how she can help us today and I tell her I need two cheeseburgers, a large fry, and a small Pepsi. She apologizes and says she can't help me. ""Why not?"" ""You're at a bank.""

It's quite ironic. Whitney used to do commercials for Pepsi, then spend all the money she made on Coke.