I made up this joke while I was dreaming. I dreamed I was on the David Letterman show as the guest comic (this was years ago) and this was my first joke. (I heard crickets in the audience after I landed the punch line, Dave said ""goodnight everybody!"" and the credits ran) ""You know when people say dreams are real? Like outside stimulation effects your dreams? You know, if you dream you're being eaten by a sabertooth tiger, it's most likely your cat licking your foot? Stimulation like that. We…

Obama Jokes The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree . . . and think 25 to life would be appropriate. --Jay Leno America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask. --Jay Leno Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal? A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it. --Conan O'Brien Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon? A: A fund raiser. --Jay Leno Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penite…

""Mitt Romney looks like a guy modeling briefs on a package of underwear ... He looks like a guy who goes to the restroom when the check comes ... He looks like a guy who would run a seminar on condo flipping ... He looks like he is the closer at a Cadillac dealership.... He looks like that guy on the golf course in the Levitra commercial."" - David Letterman

You know the honeymoon is over when the comedians start. The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree...and think 25 to life would be appropriate. --Jay Leno America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask. --Jay Leno Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal? A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it. --Conan O'Brien Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon? A: A fund raiser. --Jay Leno Q: What's the differ…