A man and his wife were driving through country on his way from New York to California. Looking at his fuel gauge, he decided to stop at the next gasoline station and fill up. About 15 minutes later, he spots a Mobil station and pulls over to the high octane pump. ""What can I do for ya'll?"" asks the attendant. ""Fill 'er up with high test,"" replies the driver. While the attendant is filling up the tank, he's looking the car up and down. ""What kinda car is this?"" he asks. ""I never seen one …

What's the difference between a golf ball and a Cadillac? Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball 100 yards without hitting a tree.

Just spent 15 minutes explaining football to my 5-year-old daughter. Now I think I'll go explain health care reform to the cat.

(Standing next to pool with a golf club and horse) Friends: Are you sure you've played water polo before?