Valentines Jokes

My wife told me ""For Valentine's Day nothing would make me happier than a diamond necklace""

An old lady was talking to her husband on Valentine's day evening.... ""Dear

I hope you don't get your period on Valentine's Day. It's going to be a pain in the ass.

I wanted to go out for Valentine's day but my relationship is complex

What's the difference between you and a Calendar? A Calendar has a date on Valentine's day.

I bought my girlfriend a fridge for valentine's day.. A bit of an unconventional present

If Valentine's Day is for couples what day is for single men?

I have my entire Valentine's day planned with my toaster! Okay

I bought my wife a new puppy for Valentine's Day! She's such a beautiful dog! Unfortunately I forgot my wife is allergic to dogs... so I have to find her a new home. Can anybody help me out?

I bought a Valentine's Day card for everyone at our local Tourettes Society. It's the thought that cunts!

My wife called me on Valentine's Day She said

Valentine's day Mothers have mothers day

What's the difference between you and a calendar? A calendar has a date for Valentine's Day.

Had a three-way on Valentine's night... Me and Ben & Jerrys. I'm so lonely.

To those who are sad because nobody loves them at Valentine's Day worry not...

I have a tip for all you lonely ladies on valentine's day... Or you can just take the whole thing.

Valentine’s Day dream Joke A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up

If any of you are sad about being alone on valentines day, just remember... that nobody loves you on any other day of the year, and valentine's day shouldn't be any different.

If Valentine's Day is for couples, what day is for single men?","Palm Sunday. First time posting please be gentle.

What is 6" long and not getting sucked this Valentine's day? Whitney Houston's crack pipe

What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has a date on Valentine's day.

How do single people honor valentine's day? By Celibating!

What's the difference between the calendar and you? A calendar has a date on Valentine's day.

What do single people call Valentine's Day? Independence Day

What did the french chef give his wife on Valentine's day? A hug and a little quiche.