Uncle Jim Jokes

A man phones home from his business trip... His 9yo son answers and says hey. ""Hey buddy, it's dad! Wheres youre mom?"" ""I will check"", replies the son as he walks to his parents' bedroom and sees his mom in bed with uncle Jim. ""She is playing in bed with uncle Jim"" ""What?! Uncle Jim?! Tell them I will be right over!"" the man fumes. ""Mom, dad says he'll be right over"", says the kid. His mom starts panicking and shouting, uncle Jim jumps quickly from the window and falls in the empty poo…

Jim was seconds away from having a vasectomy when his brother and sister-in-law barged in holding their newborn baby. "Stop!" exclaimed the brother. "You can't go through with this!" "And why not?" asked Jim. "Don't you want to have a beautiful baby some day, like my wife and I have here?" Jim said nothing. The brother grew impatient. "Come on, Jim, I want a nephew. Make me an uncle." Jim couldn't take any more of this. He gave his sister-in-law an apologetic look and asked his brother: "Are you…