Uks Jokes

A UK businessman returns from Japan... after spending a few weeks out there trying to gain some new clients and drum up new business. During his trip he had some serious down time and got busy with a few of the local girls. One in particular seemed extremely satisfied during their encounter. She didn't speak a word of English but screamed ""Nakahi"" in utter delight throughout. Returning after a successful trip, he arranges lunch with one of the UK's top businessmen who has a lot of potential Ja…

The UK's economy. That's the joke.

A man was marooned on a desert island. One day a beautiful woman arrives in a wet suit. 'When did you last have a smoke?' she asks. 'Five years ago.' So she gets out a cigar and he smokes it. She unzips her wet suit a bit and says, 'When did you last have a drink?' He said, 'Five years ago.' So she gets out a bottle of Scotch and he has a drink. Then she unzips her wet suit a bit more and says, 'And when was the last time you played around?' He looks at her in amazement and says: 'You're not tel…

Why did the UK's BBFC ban facesitting? They're big fans of teabagging.

David Cameron has said the UK's mission in Afghanistan is 'accomplished'... David Cameron has said the UK's mission in Afghanistan is 'accomplished'. We're leaving that country in a state of poverty and despair, where half the population can't read and daily life is blighted by the ever-present threat of needless violence. Yes, we've brought the British way of life to them all right.

This was once voted the UK's funniest joke... A woman and her baby gets on a bus. The driver stops her at the door and says:"you have the ugliest baby I've ever seen!".the woman storms to the back of the bus, fuming. She sits down next to a stranger and says:"that bus driver just insulted me" The stranger then says:" That is absolutely not on! You go and sort him out and I will hold your monkey for you!"

If Donald Trump becomes president, and Boris Johnson becomes UK's PM... It'll be like toupees in a pod.

If Donald Trump becomes president and Boris Johnson becomes UK's PM...

This was once voted the UK's funniest joke... A woman and her baby gets on a bus. The driver stops her at the door and says:""you have the ugliest baby I've ever seen!"".the woman storms to the back of the bus

What is UK's favorite song line? "And I'll tell you all about it when I EU again"