Town The Jokes

A rottweiler, a poodle, and a german shepherd are sitting at the vet... The German shepherd turns to the poodle. ""So, why are you here?"" The poodle hangs his head. ""My master left me in the house for a whole day, so I couldn't help it, I had to go on the floor! He's kind of a prick, so he's putting me down."" The two other dogs shake their heads. The poodle asks the rottweiler, ""How about you, why are you here?"" The rottweiler grunts. ""My master's got a five year old boy. He kept pulling m…

Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, one guy looks at the other and says, ""I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland."" The other guy responds proudly, ""Yes, that I am!"" The first guy says, ""So am I! And where abouts from Ireland might you be?"" The other guy answers, ""I'm from Dublin, I am."" The first guy responds, ""Sure and begora, and so am I! And what street did you live on in Dublin?"" The other guy says, ""A lovely little a…

Two vampires are sitting in a bar... and the barkeep comes up and asks, ""what can I get for you guys?"" The first vampire says, ""I'll just have a glass of blood"" The second vampire says, ""I'll have a glass of hot water"" The first vampire is rather confused and says to the second vampire, ""hot water? This place has the best blood in town!"" The second vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, ""I'm having tea""

There's this guy who had been lost and walking in the desert for about 2 weeks. One hot day he sees the home of a missionary. Tired and weak he crawls up to the house and collapses on the doorstep. The missionary finds him and nurses him back to health. Feeling better the man asks the missionary for directions to the nearest town. On his way out the backdoor he sees this horse. He goes back into the house and asks the missionary ""Could I borrow your horse and give it back when I reach the town…

A duck walks into a tavern and orders a beer. The bartender thinks "Wow, a talking duck," and pours him a beer. The bartender asks "I don't think I've seen you in here before. Do you live in the neighborhood?" The duck says "No, I live across town. I'm a drywaller, and I'm working the office renovation across the street. I just dropped in for a beer before going home for the day." The bartender, while trying to imagine how a duck handles drywall, asks "Well, how is that drywall job…