Tel Aviv Jokes

Soviet Joke After Stalin's death, the Soviet nation decided to get rid of him once and for all and bury him as far away as possible. They set up a special commission. The commission turned to the British government with the request that they make available a plot in a British cemetery. ""Well,"" replies the British government, ""we do already have Karl Marx in England . . . Two such great masters in the one cemetery . . . That would be overdoing it a bit. . ."" So they tried the Germans. ""Well,…

My favorite Jewish joke in the history of the world. A young American computer expert read some books on the early Zionists who came to Israel and worked hard just to develop a bit of farm land. They gave of their sweat and toil so that there should be a fertile country for us. He was impressed with their unselfish toil and decided to immigrate to Israel and be a pioneer. He went to the Jewish Agency and applied to come on Aliyah. They asked him what he did and when they found out that he was a …

[q] explain this joke: Two guys meet in the streets of Israel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORNFrV0CQ2A#t=459 Two guys meet in the streets of Israel, one says to the other, A: ""Don't I know you, aren't you from New York?"". B: ""I certainly am"" A: ""what's your name?"". B: ""Israeli"". (?) A: ""what's Israeli doing in Tel Aviv?"". B: ""I'm living the life of (?)cone(?)?"" ...?

An Israeli Joke An El Al plane lands at Ben Gurion Airport in Tel Aviv the morning of December 25. As they land, the pilot makes the following announcement: ""Please remain seated with your seatbelts securely fastened while we taxi to the terminal. To those of you seated with your seatbelts securely fastened, Merry Christmas. To those of you in the aisles getting your suitcases from the overhead bins, welcome home.""

The day after Stalin's death... ...the Soviet nation decided to get rid of him once and for all and bury him as far away as possible. They set up a special commission. The commission turned to the British government with the request that they make available a plot in a British cemetery. ""Well,"" replies the British government, ""we do already have Karl Marx in England ... Two such great masters in the one cemetery . . . That would be overdoing it a bit..."" So they tried the Germans. ""Well, we…

Who is this? An old Russian Jew, left behind decades ago when the rest of the family fled to Israel, had finally been granted permission to leave by the Soviet government. But not without a few last indignities. When he arrived at the airport, his luggage was confiscated and thoroughly searched in front of him. The customs officer, after going through his luggage, pulled out an eight pound sold metal bust of Lenin. "What is this?" the customs officer demanded. "What is this? What is this?! **…

Kraft Foods, Inc. has moved their headquarters to Tel Aviv They're changing their name to Cheeses of Nazareth.

The cabinet maker A woman in Tel-Aviv finally saves enough money to buy a new hand-made cabinet