Skip Jokes

A young mechanic... A young mechanic was working on a car when the lift broke, and the car fell and severed his arm. Now severely depressed because he had one arm, loved to golf, and couldn't afford a prosthetic arm, decided "well, this is it. This is my end... I will kill myself because I can't play golf nor afford an arm". So one day, the mechanic goes to the tallest building in his town, takes the elevator all the way up to the roof. He stands on the ledge, crying, as he's about to jump to h…

I called the local council and asked if I could have a skip outside my house. The lady replied, "mate you can do cartwheels and handstands for all I care" - For those not in the UK, a skip is like a dumpster

Whaddaya call a guy with no arms or legs trying to water ski? Skip.

I object to female genital mutilation. It is hard enough find a clitoris with having to scrabble through the skip bin behind a Somali mosque.

Why did the Windows OS skip from 8 to 10?,"Because seven, eight nine.

Where does a thumb meet its type? At oh-my-goodness! ~Skip

Why did the Windows OS skip from 8 to 10? Because seven, eight, nine.

Why did Microsoft skip from Windows 8 to Windows 10? They revived to much XP 👌

Why did Microsoft skip windows 9? Because 7 ate 9

What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled behind a boat? Skip

As the band started to play at an embassy function, a drunken politician asked: "Beautiful lady in red, will you waltz with me?" "Certainly not," came the reply. "First, you are drunk. Second, it is not a waltz but the Venezuelan national anthem. And third, I am not a beautiful lady in red, but the papal nuncio." A woman was having a new kitchen fitted, so she rang the council and said: "Can I have a skip outside my house?" The guy from the council said: "You can cartwheel around the block for a…