Sir Did Jokes

""I'm just fine"" A farmer is walking down a country road with his horse and dog on his way home from the fields. A truck hits them, the farmer is injured while the horse and dog are killed in the accident. Later, the farmer takes the driver to court to sue for damages, while giving his statement the truck driver's lawyer asks him, ""Didn't you tell my client that you weren't injured? Didn't you tell him 'I'm just fine'?"" The farmer says, ""Well, what happened was..."". The lawyer interrupts hi…

The owner of a well-established firm of wholesalers was interviewing people for a position in sales. One candidate offered excellent references and experience and was well-dressed and well-spoken. The only catch was a disconcerting mannerism: the fellow couldn't seem to stop winking. So the sales manager decided to be frank, ""You've got all the qualifications for the job and I'd really like to hire you, but I'm afraid that facial tic of yours might put customers off"". ""I'm glad you brought th…

Schrödinger is in a car... ...and gets pulled over by a cop for speeding. The cop, after writing a ticket, notices a peculiar smell and asks to check for the source. After looking under the car, glancing over at the backseat and popping the trunk, he rushes over. Cop: "Sir! Did you know you have a dead cat in your trunk?" Schrödinger: "I do now" EDIT: removed words