I just wanted a drink. Stopped at Speedway to buy a drink. When I pulled in, I noticed these two cops watching a woman who was smoking while fueling up. I'm thinking, ""Wow...what an idiot! The police are standing right there!"" I go in and get my drink. As I was paying, I hear someone scream, ""Look outside!"" OMG!! The woman's arm was on fire!!! She's running around like a chicken with its head cut off, waving her arm around and just going nuts. We all went outside and watched the cops put her…

Schrodinger is driving his car. Along the road, a police officer pulls him over. He asks, ""What is in the trunk?"" Schrodinger replies, ""Just a cat."" The officer replies, ""Well, I'll just check the trunk then."" After checking it, the police officer comes back and says, ""Sir, that cat is dead!"" Schrodinger replies, ""well *now* he is."" Edit: Puncuation.

Heisenberg, Schroedinger, and Ohm are driving together in a car. A cop pulls them over. ""Do you know how fast you were going back there?"" the cop asks. ""No, but I know exactly where we are,"" replies Heisenberg. ""I clocked you going 85 mph,"" says the cop. Heisenberg bangs the steering wheel. ""Now we're lost!"" The cop gets suspicious. He searches the car. ""Hey, do you know there's a dead cat in the trunk?"" ""We do now, you jerk!"" exclaims Schroedinger. The cop decides to arrest the men.…

A car with three physicists is pulled over by a cop. Inside are Heisenberg, Schrodinger and Ohm. The cop asks Heisenberg ""Do you know how fast you were going?"" Heisenberg replies, ""No, but we know exactly where we are!"" The officer looks at him confused and says ""you were going 110 miles per hour!"" Heisenberg throws his arms up and says, ""Great! Now we're lost!"" The officer looks over the car and asks Schrodinger if the three men have anything in the trunk. ""A cat"", Schrodinger replies…