Second Women Jokes

Two women are walking down the street when the first woman leans over to the other and says, ""isn't that your husband walking out of the florist."" The second women looked over and said, ""yes damn it, that means i'm going to have to put my legs in the air for three days."" The first looks over to the second and say, ""why don't you just buy a vase?""

Three women go to heaven... Upon entering the pearly gates God states, ""You can live a blissful life with anything you can dream of for all eternity. However, you must not step on any of the ducks!"" The women look around to see the floor crowded with waddling ducks. Years go by without a hiccup. Finally after 10 years the first woman makes the dreaded mistake and steps on a duck. Immediately she in handcuffed to the most hideous, grotesque man she has ever seen. God states, ""This shall remain…

Three Muslim women are sitting talking... The first one says, ""I miss my eldest son Ahmed. He was martyred in Iraq last year."" ""Oh I know,"" says the second women, ""I miss little Hamza. He drove a car-bomb into a Syrian checkpoint six months ago."" The third woman nodded, ""Me too. My Omar was a suicide bomber in Gaza, so sad."" The first woman shook her head sadly. ""Kids these days. They blow up so fast.""

A wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two women along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one women, "Why are you eating grass?" "We don't have any money for food," the poor women replied. "We have to eat grass." "Well then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said. "But sir, I have a husband and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree." "Bring them along," t…