Roman Catholic Jokes

A missing Chinese pyromaniac has been located hiding out at a Roman Catholic monastery. He was found praying with friars.

I hear Donald Trump has been endorsed by the Roman Catholic Church He's called for a ban on contraception. He wants to make America mate again

What do you call a sleepwalking nun. A Roman-Catholic

What do you call a sleep walking nun? A roman catholic.

The chairman of Perdue Chicken goes to the Vatican to meet the pope. Jim Perdue, CEO of Perdue Chicken, goes to the Vatican to meet the pope. He says ""Pope Francis, it is an honor to meet you. As you know, I am a devoted Catholic, and I'm bringing a generous donation today - 2 million dollars - and in return I simply ask you hear a proposal."" Pope Francis says, ""yes, of course."" Jim Perdue says ""I propose you change all references of bread to chicken. For example, 'Give us this day out dail…

When i was in school there was this joke floating around. Ok so i went to a roman catholic school and below is the layout of the foyer of my school from when I was young, the arrow indicates a statue of mother Mary and the direction in which she faces. The longer part of the picture indicates a path leading away from the foyer and the squiggly line indicates the door to the teacher's common office. Treat the dots as spaces and the ""A"" as the arrow. Sheesh, it's hard to do this in reddit. .....…

My Friends and The Catholic Church Most people accuse me of being a wanker. Not the Roman Catholic Church. They call me a mass murderer!

A Jew was converting to Christianity. So a Jew named Moshe Greene wanted to convert to Christianity. So Moshe goes to a Roman Catholic church and tell the preist there he wanted to convert. So as he is getting baptized the priest is saying ""you are no longer Moshe Greene, you are Paul Carpenter, you are not Moshe, you are Paul"".So with that Paul became a Christian. Fastforward to Lent when the preist sees Paul coming out of a butcher shop with a bag of beef, so in order not to embarress Paul, …

A Roman Catholic priest, a Southern Baptist minister, and a Rabbi were all at a bar... They were all arguing over who could convert the most followers to his respective religion. A rather drunk man at the bar yells, ""Anyone can convert a person! It takes real skill to convert a bear!"" The three religious mean agree, and set out to prove who could most effectively convert a bear. They plan to meet one week later. A week later, they all return. The Roman Catholic priest is the first to speak up.…

What do you call a very religious person who sleep walks? A Roman Catholic.

A lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accident. The two were in line to see St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asked the lawyer his name and looked it up in his book. He then asked the Pope for his name and looked it up in his book also. ""Now if you will come with me I will show you your eternal dwellings"" said St. Peter. They walked along the clouds and came to a huge mansion with all sorts of lavish trappings. St. Peter turned to the lawyer and told him this was to be his house…

What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A Roman Catholic. (Sorry if this is a repost)

Three devotees decide to prove the power of their faith... ...they all decide to jump off a cliff one by one, all the while invoking the name of their chosen deity. The first devotee, a Buddhist, proceeds to stand at the edge of the cliff and begins reciting the mora sutta. At the end of the chant he jumps and calls on Buddha three times: ***"Buddha protect your servant, Buddha protect your servant, BUDDHA PROTECT YOUR SERVANT!"*** Lo and behold, just before he hits the ground he turns into …

What do you call a moving nun? A Roman Catholic

What do you call a lost nun? A Roman Catholic

what do you call a sleep-walking nun? A Roman Catholic

What's the difference between an Irish Catholic and a Roman Catholic? A few notches on the belt buckle.

Why should the Roman Catholic Church allow priests to marry? They would have a more detailed understanding of what Hell is actually like.

What do you call a nun on the run? A ROMAN CATHOLIC!