[NSFW] The best joke ever told to me by a priest. On the day of the Crucifixion, Jesus was on the Cross, surrounded by a ring of legionaires, while his follows stood just outside the range of their spears. Among them is Simon Peter, Rock of the Church. Faintly on the wind, Simon Peter hears his Master's voice. ""Peter, Peter..."" heedless of the danger, he rushed forward, shouting, ""I'm coming, my Lord!"" But alas, he was grabbed by the soldiers, had his arms chopped off, and was thrown back to…