Odessa Jokes

Two Jews are walking in Odessa at night... Suddenly, in a dark alley, they are surrounded by muggers with knives. -- Money, watches, wallets - quick! One Jew turns to the other: -- Abram, remember, I owe you $300? Here they are, returned to you in front of witnesses.

A rough and tough cowboy hitches his horse outside a saloon. Spurs ringing up the stairs, the door swings open and he sits down on a stool. "gimme a beer, bottle of whisky". After he drinks his fair share we walks back out to unhitch his horse. A second later, the swinging doors bust open and a bullet tears through the roof. "All right you sons of bitches! Who's the coward that stole my horse!" The bar fell silent, some ducked under tables. "No one!?" He shouted. "I'm gonna have another beer a…

Two old jews are talking in Odessa. -What's the news? -Have you not heard? There is a war! -who is fighting? -Russia says it is at war with NATO. -How's is it going? -70,000 Russians are dead, they have lost thousands of tanks, used up most of their missiles, and their economy is collapsing. -and NATO? -NATO hasn't shown up yet. Credit: Volodymir Zelenskyy