Memorial Day Jokes

Celebrating Memorial Day by not romanticizing the military.

Friend at Memorial Day BBQ: I see you wasted no time with the white pants. Me: These are my legs.

A joke for Memorial Day! At a 10 year high school reunion, a serviceman and a lawyer walk into the men's room. After using the urinal, the serviceman zips up and heads for the door. The young lawyer while using the sink states ""wow, had you gone to college maybe you would have learned to wash your hands!"" The serviceman simply replies ""In the military, they taught us not to get piss on our hands. ""

What side of the American flag are the stars on? Both sides. Came from my FIL on this Memorial Day.

America where we celebrate Memorial Day with mattress sales.

A week before Memorial Day, kids bring pictures of veteran family members to school for show and tell. First up was Mary. "My daddy served in Afghanistan. He was a paratrooper." "A paratrooper?" Asked the teacher, who was awed. "Yes, please look closer -- you can see his jump badge." Second was Joe. "My granny served in Vietnam. She was a doctor." "A doctor?" Asked the teacher, who was moved. "Yeah, see? That's a stethoscope hanging around her neck." Third was little Johnny, "This is my g…

The train was quite crowded and a U. S. Marine walked... The train was quite crowded and a U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat. There seemed to be one next to a well-dressed French woman, but when he got there, he saw it was taken by the woman's poodle. The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?" The French woman sniffed and said to no one in particular, "Americans are so rude. My precious little Fifi is using that seat." The Marine walked the e…

A week before Memorial Day kids bring pictures of veteran family members to school for show and tell.