Maude Jokes

if you meet a woman under the age of 75 named "Maude" or "Agatha" it's a good bet to check nearby for a time machine

Nursing home couple An 80 year old man and woman met in their nursing home and had been flirting for weeks. The man sits by her one day and says ""so Maude, I was able to get ahold of some Viagra. What do you think about meeting me in the janitor's closet during bingo?"" ""Oh Harold, I'd love to."" she giddily replies and they go their separate ways to get ready. Later they both meet inside the closet and start undressing. ""Wait, Harold"" she says ""before we do anything I wanted to let you kno…

The Three Old Ladies & the Flasher Three old ladies - Gertrude, Maude and Tilly were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation when a flasher approached from across the park. The flasher came up to the ladies, stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat. Gertrude immediately had a stroke. Then Maude also had a stroke. But Tilly, bless her heart, being older and more feeble, couldn't quite reach that far.

Another: Isaac Asimov's ""Death of a Foy"" It was extremely unusual for a Foy to be dying on Earth. They were the highest social class on their planet (with a name which was pronounced -- as nearly as Earthly throats could make the sounds -- Sortibackenstrete) and were virtually immortal. Every Foy, of course, came to voluntary death eventually, and this one had given up because of an ill-starred love affair, if you can call it a love affair where five individuals, in order to reproduce, must in…

The Three Old Ladies & the Flasher Three old ladies - Gertrude, Maude and Tilly were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation when a flasher approached from across the park. The flasher came up to the ladies, stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat. Gertrude immediately had a stroke. Then Maude also had a stroke. But Tilly, bless her heart, being older and more feeble, couldn't quite reach that far.