Mabel Jokes

A British fellow just doesn't understand why people like cricket. He tries, he tries so hard. He knows it's his national sport. He also doesn't care much for football and rugby, and always feels left out at the pub. Then one day, he comes in early for a pint, and there's this strange game on the screen. ""What's that game up there, Albert?"" Albert looks baffled, ""why, that's baseball mate!"" He'd never seen a baseball game before. He's enchanted. He loves the geometry of the field, the green g…

Hot Dogs (as told by my Granny) Two older English ladies finally get to visit America. They decide they want to try some authentic American food for the first time. Edith says, ""I've heard that hot dogs are about as American as it gets."" ""Oh yeah?"" says Mabel. ""Sounds different, but I guess we should try it then."" So they go into a cafe and both of them order jumbo hot dogs. They sit down at a table, and Edith slowly unwraps hers and looks at it aghast. "" Oh dear, Mabel! What part of the …

Stick It Two elderly women were having in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, ""Mabel, did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?"" Mabel answered, ""I have? suppository?"" She pulled it out and stared at it. Then she said, ""Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where my hearing aid is.

Two nuns were on their day off... ...and they were on their way to sate their only vice, which was a male strip club. On their way there, they passed a barber shop where the smell of burning hair wafted through the air. One of them turns to the other and says, ""I think we better slow down, Mabel.""

Gerald: ""Have you ever come across a man who at the slightest touch caused you to thrill and tremble in every fiber of your being?"" Mabel: ""Yes the dentist.""

Three Amish ladies are in a field picking potatoes Their husbands names are Jake, Jacob and Jakey. They would always get confused. So one day they decided to nickname them. Mabel said "lets name them after soda pop", the other two said "what do you mean?". Mabel said she would go first and said " I'll call my Jacob 7-Up because he has 7 inches and its always up". Oh the other two loved this idea. So Ella went next and said "I'll call my Jake Mountain Dew because he takes me to the mountain and …

Bill walks into a bar and finds his friend Joe sitting on a stool. "Joe," Bill said, "I'm glad to see that your wife finally let you out of the house." "Things have been different with my wife," Joe said. "In fact, just the other day, I decided to show her who was the boss." "How did you do that?" asked Bill. "I simply said to her, 'Mabel, we are going to have it out right now, and I am going to show you who the boss is in this relationship'." "What happened?" "Well, I don't want to brag, but I …