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Kim Jong Jokes

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Topical Jokes (5/16) Another day has gone by. And, of course, we now have a new set of jokes. Some of these are weirder but let's begin! Inside int'l experts believe that Kim Jong Un may have two babies by two different women. In a quick response to the rumor, President Obama has appointed a new consul to North Korea, Ambassador Maury. More on the international front, David Beckham has announced his retirement. Beckham says he's going to take the time to wind down and chase his true passion, spi

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A North Korean Joke *Son to Mom: I don't want to go to school today and I'll give you two good reasons. The students hate me and the teachers hate me.* *Mom to Son: Son, you have to go to school today and I'll give you two good reasons. You are the principal and you're thirty five years old.* As told to Michael Malice who wrote the book: The Unauthorized Autobiography of Kim Jong Il [Video Interview with Q&A [54:26]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2EBUE4BfQU)

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The Glorious Leader visits a pig farm Kim Jong-Un visits a pig farm and has the obligatory propaganda photo taken. Later, three editors for the Pyongyang Times are facing the task of finding an appropriate caption. #1: "How about 'The Glorious Leader among pigs'?" #2: "Are you mad? That could cost us our heads!" #3: "How's 'Even the farm animals look up to our Dear Leader'?" #2: "No, no, no. Could be misinterpreted. We need something neutral." They debate the entire evening. The caption on t

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Topical Jokes for 10/9 (for best results, read in the voice of your favorite late night host) In Indiana, a pizza delivery man received a $1,200 tip from college students. College officials applauded the act of charity, until they realized the “pizza” was just a box with $1,200 dollars worth of weed in it. To thwart corruption, traffic police in Thailand will now receive a bonus if they refuse bribes. The plan affects all levels of Thailand police, from the street-level Bribe Solicitor, to Di

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Kim Jong-un and Vladimir Putin were in a meeting They had a delightful conversation, until Putin wanted to show off the loyalty of his men. Putin ordered one of his bodyguards to jump off the window. The bodyguard seemed hesitant, and horrified, he begged for mercy. "Please sir! I got a wife and kids!" Putin seemed unsatisfied, but yet he understood since he practically asked the bodyguard to kill himself. Kim looked at Putin with sadistic smirk on his face, and Kim turned to his bodyguard n

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There was this musician in North Korea… One day he was called upon Kim Jong-Un himself to compose a piece of music and have the great North Korean orchestra play it to him in the humble auditorium. The man, not wanting to displease the Great Leader, did as he asked. The big night arrived with the musician stood at the front of the greatest orchestra in the whole of North Korea. However, they were terrible. They didn’t play the music anything like the musician had composed it to sound.

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Kim Jong-un walks into a school in North Korea. He asks a student "Who is your father? The student replies "The Supreme Leader, infinite in wisdom and kindness, provider and protector of the Koreans, he is our only father." Kim Jong beams. "Excellent. Now tell me who is your mother?" The student doesn't hesitate. "The Land of True Korea, outstanding in her beauty, international superpower, and redeemer of all civilisations, she is our only mother." Kim Jong applauds. "What a diligent stud

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