Katie Jokes

Kids are the worst CIA agents. I KNOW WATERBOARDING SUCKS KATIE BUT YOU CAN'T TELL THE TALIBAN EVERYTHING FOR A CAPRI SUN YOU IDIOT

It's an unwritten rule in girls' soccer that each team must have at least one Katie on the field at all times.

Katie's blind date Katie's roommate sends her on a blind date with Dave, who decides to take her to the carnival. As they pass the weight guessing both, Katie announces, ""I wanna get weighed"". The barker guesses she is 135 lbs, and the scale bears this out. So they continue. Dave says, ""what do you want to do now?"" ""I wanna get weighed"" says Katie. So they do it again, with the same predictable result. They go on a couple rides, and Katie says, ""I wanna get weighed!"". They do it again, b…

What does a blonde do when her car endures a hail storm? Jill woke up one morning after a hail storm that night. Her car had dents all over it. It was incredibly bad damage, so she brought it into a local auto repair to get the dents fixed. The mechanic, noticing that Jill was blonde, thought he would have a little fun. He simply told her that there is an easy solution to this dent problem of hers! He instructed her, ""go home and blow into the tailpipe of your car really really hard and all the…

Dead Cow After a long night's hate mongering, Katie Hopkins is getting chauffeured home along a country road. Out of nowhere a cow appears and the car plows straight into it. The driver is distraught, he gets out to see if there's anything he can do, realises the cow is dead and looks around before returning to the car. He announces: ""It's dead. There's a house on the hill that must belong to the farmer. I'll let him know and see if he can help clear the road."" Katie watches him walk up the hi…

So a man is walking in a field... ...when he comes across an incredibly deep hole. Wondering how deep the hole is, he picks up a near by anvil and drops it down the hole. The anvil makes a long whistling sound as it falls but it never hits the ground. ""Holy cow!"" goes the man. ""That is a deep hole."" A few moments later a goat charges past the man screaming and jumps down the hole. The man confused and mortified begins to hear a farmer in the distance. ""Katie!"" ""Katie!"" calls the farmer. …

Katie Price's first task in Celebrity.... Katie Price's first task in Celebrity Big Brother is to not get pregnant or married in the next three weeks.

Contagious A teacher asks her class to use the word 'contagious'. Roland, the class swot, gets up and says, "Last year I got the measles and my Mum said it was contagious". "Well done, Roland" says the teacher. "Can anyone else try"? Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, says, "My grandma says there's a bug going round, and it's contagious". "Well done, Katie" says the teacher. "Anyone else? Little Shaun jumps up and says in a broad Irish voice, "Our next door neighbour is painting his …

A teacher asks her class.. to use the word "contagious". Roland, the teacher's pet, gets up and says, "Last year I got the measles and my mum said it was contagious." "Well done, Roland," says the teacher. "Can anyone else try?" Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, says, "My grandma says there's a bug going round, and it's contagious." "Well done, Katie," says the teacher. "Anyone else?" Little Irish Sean jumps up and says in a broad Dublin accent, "Our next door neighbour is paintin…

A third grade teacher had her students ask their parents to tell them a story with a moral for their homework one day. The next day, the kids came back and one by one, began to tell their stories. But then the teacher realized that only Katie was left. "Katie, do you have a story to share?" ''Yes ma'am... My daddy told me a story about my mom." "OK, let's hear it," said the teacher. "My mom was a Marine pilot in Iraq and her plane got hit." "She had to bail out over enemy territory and all sh…

An Irish Teacher asks her class An Irish teacher asks her class to use the word "contagious". Roland, the teacher's pet, gets up and says, "Last year I got the measles and my mum said it was contagious." "Well done, Roland," says the teacher. "Can anyone else try?" Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, says, "My grandma says there's a bug going round, and it's contagious." "Well done, Katie," says the teacher. "Anyone else?" Little Sean jumps up and says in a broad Dublin accent, "Our…