It's an unwritten rule in girls' soccer that each team must have at least one Katie on the field at all times.

Katie's blind date Katie's roommate sends her on a blind date with Dave, who decides to take her to the carnival. As they pass the weight guessing both, Katie announces, ""I wanna get weighed"". The barker guesses she is 135 lbs, and the scale bears this out. So they continue. Dave says, ""what do you want to do now?"" ""I wanna get weighed"" says Katie. So they do it again, with the same predictable result. They go on a couple rides, and Katie says, ""I wanna get weighed!"". They do it again, b…

What does a blonde do when her car endures a hail storm? Jill woke up one morning after a hail storm that night. Her car had dents all over it. It was incredibly bad damage, so she brought it into a local auto repair to get the dents fixed. The mechanic, noticing that Jill was blonde, thought he would have a little fun. He simply told her that there is an easy solution to this dent problem of hers! He instructed her, ""go home and blow into the tailpipe of your car really really hard and all the…

Dead Cow After a long night's hate mongering, Katie Hopkins is getting chauffeured home along a country road. Out of nowhere a cow appears and the car plows straight into it. The driver is distraught, he gets out to see if there's anything he can do, realises the cow is dead and looks around before returning to the car. He announces: ""It's dead. There's a house on the hill that must belong to the farmer. I'll let him know and see if he can help clear the road."" Katie watches him walk up the hi…