John Cleese Jokes

John Cleese talks about the terror threat levels of nations The English are concerned about the recent increase in terrorist activities, and have therefore raised their security level from ""miffed"" to ""peeved."" If the threats continue to grow, the security levels may be raised to ""irritated"" or even ""a bit cross."" (The English have not seen ""a bit cross"" since the blitz in 1940, when tea supplies nearly ran out.) Terrorists have been recategorized from ""tiresome"" to ""a bloody nuisan…

BBC announcement From the BBC - Read by John Cleese. ANNOUNCEMENT The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from ""Miffed"" to ""Peeved."" Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to ""Irritated"" or even ""A Bit Cross."" The English have not been ""A Bit Cross"" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from ""Tiresome"" to ""A Bloody Nuisance."" The la…

Terror Alerts - by John Cleese The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" …

Two Jewish guys are walking down the street... Two Jewish guys are walking down the street when they spot a sign outside a church: "Today Only: Convert to Christianity and we will give you 100 bucks cash!" "I'm gonna do it," one guy tells the other and disappears through the church door. 5 minutes later he's back. "Well, Did you get the cash?" his buddy asks. "Jeez Is that all you people think about?" comes the friend's reply. edit: cheers for the upvotes. It was a joke John Cleese told w…

Why do the French have so many civil wars?,"So they can win one every now and again. (Thanks John Cleese! This was too good not to share.)