Jennifer Jokes

Visitor: You're very quiet Jennifer. Jennifer: Well my mum gave me a dollar not to say anything about your red nose.

A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions. ""Davy what noise does a cow make?"" ""It goes moo."" ""Alice what noise does a cat make?"" ""It goes meow."" ""Jamie what sound does a lamb make?"" ""It goes baaa."" ""Jennifer what sound does a mouse make?"" ""Errr.. it goes.. click!""

Brian's roommate and the gravy ladle Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian’s mother couldn’t help but notice how beautiful Brian’s roommate Jennifer was. Brian’s Mom had long been suspicious of the platonic relationship between Brian and Jennifer, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Jennifer than met the eye. Reading his mom…

Of moms and ladels A mother visits her son for Thanksgiving and is suprised to find out he has a female roommate named Jennifer. Despite her suspicions, the two assure the mother that they are just friends. After the mom leaves, the ladle disappears. The young man emails his mother the following: Dear Mom, We're not saying you "did" take the ladle, we're not saying you "did not" take the ladle. All we're saying is that it's been missing since you left. The mom replies: Dear Son, I'm…

Mr. Steve Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip to Louisiana. He immediately sent an e-mail back home to his wife, Jennifer. Unfortunately, he mistyped a letter, and the e-mail ended up going to a Mrs. Joan Johnson, the wife of a preacher who had just passed away. The preacher's wife took one look at the e-mail and promptly fainted.When she was finally revived, she nervously pointed to the message, which read: "Arrived safely, but it sure is hot down here."

How to be a gracious bitch Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement, not even her parent's nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother of the bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother! Jennifer asked her father's new young wife to exchange it, but she refused. 'Absolutely not, I look like a million bu…

A train hits a bus filled with Catholic school girls... and they all perish. They are in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates when St. Peter asks the first girl, " Tiffany, have you ever had any contact with a male organ? She giggles and shyly replies, "Well, I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger." St. Peter says, " Okay, dip the tip of your finger in the Holy Water and pass through the gate." St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, "Jennifer, have you ever had any…

When Bill and Hillary first got married Bill said, “I put a box under the bed...." When Bill and Hillary first got married Bill said, “I put a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it.” In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked. On the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In it were 3 empty beer cans and $81,874.25 in cash. She closed the box and put it back under the bed. Now that she knew wh…

Ms. Johnson asks her junior high class what body part grows 6 times its size when it gets excited She calls on Susan who says "Ms. Johnson that is a very inappropriate question to ask girls in this class. My parents will hear about this." She then calls on Jennifer who says "the pupil of the eye in dark conditions." "Correct," Ms. Johnson answers. "And Susan I have 3 things to say to you. First, you clearly didn't read your homework assigment. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third you are …

Could Jennifer or Courtney Row? No, but Lisa Kudrow.

Where is Jennifer's husband?,"Jennifer is 21 years older than her son Douglas. 6 years from now, Jennifer will be 5 times as old as Douglas. Question: Where is Jennifer's husband? Solution: J=D+21 J+6=5(D+6) According to my math, Douglas has −3/4 years, which means -9 months. Pregnancy lasts for nine months so Jennifer's husband is in the bed with her right now. Sauce:

Where is Jennifer's husband? Jennifer is 21 years older than her son Douglas. 6 years from now, Jennifer will be 5 times as old as Douglas. Question: Where is Jennifer's husband? Solution: J=D+21 J+6=5(D+6) According to my math, Douglas has −3/4 years, which means -9 months. Pregnancy lasts for nine months, so Jennifer's husband is in the bed with her right now. Sauce:

A FIRST GRADE TEACHER collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest. As you shall make your bed so shall you..........mess it up. Strike while the ..............................bug is close. You can lead a horse to water but.......................how? Don't bite the hand that........................looks dirty. If you lie down with the dogs, you'll.............stink in the morning. An idle mind is.............…

Jennifer, wanna go to my place? - I am not Jennifer - But I didn't ask about that...