Homestead Jokes

Old Lenny lived far out in the western mountains of Maine. He had spent all of his 80 years living on the family homestead. One morning, two land surveyors appeared at his doorstep. The first one spoke: ""Now Lenny, we know you is a proud Mainer, but it seems you ain't in Maine at all. We jist finished surveyin' this whole township, and your house is actually on the New Hampshire side of the state line."" ""Wicked decent,"" says old Lenny, ""I'd had enough of them Maine winters anyhow.""

Campaigning in Amish country, a politician stopped outside a homestead, where he saw a young man milking a cow. He casually strolled over to the young man and prepared to make a lengthy pitch for his vote. But just as he was getting started, an old man called from inside: "Luke, get in the house! And who's that you're talking to?" "He says he's a politician, Pop." "In that case," added the old man, "you'd better bring the cow inside with you." The Tory Conference are not an attractive lot, are t…