Greg Jokes

Two zombies, Greg and John, are sitting in the cemetery. Greg says: ""Didn`t Peter also want to come?"" John answers: ""Yes, but he is late.""

Two fish in a tank Fish 1:Uh, Greg? Fish 2:What Fish 1:How do we drive this thing

Mrs. Filmore returned home from a business trip and asked her husband ""How did Greg do on his history exam?"" ""Oh not so good"" he replied. ""But it wasn't his fault. They asked him about things that happened before he was born!""

Meta: Reverse Punchline Challenge Hey /r/Jokes, I thought it might be interesting to see just how good we are at actually making jokes from unfunny situations. As such, I thought a good challenge might be to provide a few randomly thought up punchlines that *you* the subreddit construct the lead-up/joke to. Highest rated comment would be the funniest obviously. With no further ado: 1. "That's not a champagne flute!" 2. "I don't know, but lord knows my wife does." 3. "Three cats, two birds, a…

Which car will you get in heaven? Three guys are standing in heaven, their names are Greg, James, and Tony. They are at a car dealership, and an angel asks them "were you faithful to your wives?" Greg answers "yes, I never cheated on my wife." He is given a new Lamborghini. The angel then asks James if he ever cheated on his wife. He says "once, and I am ashamed to admit it." He is given a Toyota Corolla. The angel then asks Tony, and he says "yes, lots of times." He is given an old Morris Mari…

Honesty is the best policy. Bob is being interviewed for a job and Greg notices that the reason for his previous job's termination was honesty. Greg says "well I don't think that is a very good reason to be fired." Bob replies "I don't really give a shit what you think."

Bridge to Hawaii Greg is in his car driving on the highway by the ocean in California when he stops and asks God for just 1 wish for being a super faithful and good human being. God instantly appears and tells Greg that he has earned right for one wish. Greg: I wish for a bridge from here to Hawaii so that I can drive there and have a great time. God: Ehhhh…. your wish is too materistic! I would have to get the concrete, carefully think about the design, along with pipes and suspensions for …

Invention of the knife "What is that?" I call it the 'knife'. "Wow, that's the best thing since bread!" Greg, I am about to blow your mind.

Two fish in a tank Fish 1: uh, Greg? Fish 2: what Fish 1: how do we drive this thing

I told my wife, “Meet my friend Greg. Everything he says is brilliant.” Her: Really? Nice to meet you Greg. Greg: Brilliant.

Did you know the original Gregorian calendar had different months? January = Greg February = Ian March = Greg April = Ian May = Ian June = Greg July = Ian August = Greg September = Greg October = Ian November = Greg December = Ian

Tim the Chicken Tim was a nervous chicken. He rarely went out in public and spent the majority of his life trying to blend in to the background. And this devotion to anonymity followed Tim through his entire childhood and adolescence. As Tim approached his eighteenth birthday, his one friend, a sheep named Bob, was adamant Tim needed to celebrate this milestone. It took much convincing, but eventually Tim agreed to make his first visit to a pub and experience his first taste of alcohol. …