Heisenberg's wife was unhappy... because when he had the time, he didn't have the energy, and when he had the position, he didn't have the momentum. Credit to Greg and/or Terry from American Dad.

Mrs. Filmore returned home from a business trip and asked her husband ""How did Greg do on his history exam?"" ""Oh not so good"" he replied. ""But it wasn't his fault. They asked him about things that happened before he was born!""

Meta: Reverse Punchline Challenge Hey /r/Jokes, I thought it might be interesting to see just how good we are at actually making jokes from unfunny situations. As such, I thought a good challenge might be to provide a few randomly thought up punchlines that *you* the subreddit construct the lead-up/joke to. Highest rated comment would be the funniest obviously. With no further ado: 1. "That's not a champagne flute!" 2. "I don't know, but lord knows my wife does." 3. "Three cats, two birds, a…

Which car will you get in heaven? Three guys are standing in heaven, their names are Greg, James, and Tony. They are at a car dealership, and an angel asks them "were you faithful to your wives?" Greg answers "yes, I never cheated on my wife." He is given a new Lamborghini. The angel then asks James if he ever cheated on his wife. He says "once, and I am ashamed to admit it." He is given a Toyota Corolla. The angel then asks Tony, and he says "yes, lots of times." He is given an old Morris Mari…