Gallagher Jokes

Ever have one of those days where you drink so much coffee that you can't hold the scalpel straight? LOL! It's like a Gallagher show!

Poker Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment when Paddy Murphy loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue playing standing up. Michael O'Connor looks around and asks, ""Oh, me boys, someone got's to tell Paddy's wife... who will it be?"" They draw straws. Paul Gallagher picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse. ""Di…

A young comedian goes to his grandfather.....[NSFW language] A young comedian goes to his grandfather and says, ""Grandpa, i've always come to you for advice when I need it, the problem i'm having is with being unique"". His grandfather says, ""Well you've always been special to me, but what do you mean?"". The young comedian says, ""Well, I want to be risque, however it's hard to shock people nowadays."" His grandfather asks, ""What about Pedophilia jokes?"". ""Too immature"", he replies. His g…

Did you hear about Draymond Green's new comedy road show? It's like Gallagher, but instead of watermelons he only smashes kiwis.

Jesus goes to a palm reader And she nailed it! Saw Gallagher last weekend and this had me in tears.

Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment... ...when Paddy Murphy loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue playing standing up. Michael O'Connor looks around and asks, 'Oh, me boys, someone got's to tell Paddy's wife.. Who will it be?' They draw straws. Paul Gallagher picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse. 'D…