Cletus Jokes

How does the stock market work? Cletus and Wade watching the sunset on their tractor have a chat. Cletus: Wade, I keep hearing on the radio, TV, read in the papers about the stock market but I still have no idea it is. Do you know? Wade: How should I explain this to you... Let's say you buy some eggs for your farm, these eggs hatch and now you have chicks, these chicks grow up to be hens which lay more eggs out of which you get more chicks that grow up to be hens and so on and so forth and your …

Cletus and Billy, two neighbors, each decide to get a sheep. Each one puts his sheep in his garden. But at night the sheep destroy the fence. Next morning Cletus and Billy don't know which sheep is his own. So Cletus picks a sheep and chops a leg off it. That way he knows the sheep with three legs is his. But the following night, the sheep with four legs can't stand for this injustice and bites its own leg off. In the morning, Cletus and Billy find the two sheep with each three legs and don't kn…

Lance Corporals Two good old boys, Billy Bob and Cletus have been promoted from privates to Lance Corporals. Not long afterward, they're out for a walk and Billy Bob says, ""Hey, Cletus, there's the NCO Club; let's you and me step in."" ""But we be only privates,"" protests Cletus. ""We're Lance Corporals now,"" says Billy Bob, pointing to his stripe and pulling him inside. ""Now, Cletus I'm a-gonna sit down and have me a drink."" ""But we're privates,"" says Cletus. ""You blind, boy?"" asks Bil…

Cletus and Ricky make a bet. Cletus was having an unlucky day fishing at the creek as he spots Ricky walking towards him with a large bag over his shoulder. Cletus asks Ricky ""what's in the bag?"" Ricky replies that its a bag full of chickens. Cletus, hungry and with no fish to fry, asks Ricky ""Say, how about if I guess how many chickens you got in the bag, you let me have one of 'em?"" Ricky tells Cletus, ""If you can guess how many chickens I got in this bag I'll let you have all five of the…