Chicago Bears Jokes

Goldilocks and the Three Bears (American Football Fans Will Understand) Mama bear and Papa bear are getting a divorce after the fiasco with Goldilocks, but they must decide custody of baby bear. The judge takes baby bear aside, and asks politely, ""Would you like to live with Papa Bear?"" ""No,"" Baby Bear answers, ""Papa Bear beats me!"" ""Oh no."" the judge replies. ""Then you can live with Mama Bear."" ""No!"" Baby Bear exclaims. ""She beats me too!"" ""Oh dear."" Says the judge. ""Well then,…

Mama and Papa Bear are getting divorced... and the Judge is asking Baby Bear who he wishes to live with. ""So, is it Mama or Papa?"" the Judge asks. ""Mama and Papa beat me,"" says Baby Bear. ""Well do you have any other relatives?"" asked the Judge. ""I have an uncle in Chicago,"" replies Baby Bear. ""Does he beat you too?"" asks the Judge. ""Naww,"" says Baby Bear. ""The Chicago Bears don't beat anybody.""

A Chicago Bears' fan, a Minnesota Viking's fan, and a Detroit Lions' fan find a genie in a bar... The 3 fans are sitting at the bar when suddenly, a genie comes out of a bottle of vodka the bartender opens. [](/sp) The genie says to the bartender: ""Congratulations, you have released me from my prison, and to repay you for that, I shall allow you to make 3 wishes your heart most desires and make them come true."" The bartender faints from the sheer sight of a real genie in his bar. [](/sp) Seein…

Mama and Papa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who he was going to live with. So, the judge wanted to talk to baby bear to see what he thought about living with either of his parents. When he asked baby bear about living with his father, baby bear said ""No, I can't live with Papa bear, he beats me terribly."" ""OK,"" said the judge, ""then you want to live with your mother, right?"" ""No way!"" replied baby bear, ""She beats me worse than Papa bear does."" The judge was a bit…

There's 3 bears.. Mama bear, papa bear and baby bear. The parents get divorced and have to go to court to decide custody of the baby bear. The judge decides to let the baby decide: "do you want to go with your momma baby?" Baby replies : " no because she beats me!" Judge: " How about with your papa?" Baby:" No he beats me too!" Judge :"then what do you want to do baby bear?" Baby: "I want to go with the Chicago bears" Judge:" why the Chicago bears?" Baby "Because they don't beat anyone!" I'm…

Custody trial Momma bear and papa bear are in court finalizing their divorce and custody of junior bear. The judge asks junior bear who he wants to live with? J: "do you want to live with momma bear? " JB: "no, she beats me." J: "do you want to stay with papa bear?" JB: "no, he beats me too." J: "then who will you live with?" JB: "I want to live with the Chicago Bears, they never beat anybody!"

This might be the last chance I have to tell this joke for a while; So a man and his dog walk into a bar to watch the Packers/Bears game... [Long] A man and his dog walk into a bar to watch the football game between the Green Bay Packers and the Chicago Bears. The man takes a seat at the bar and his dogs hops up onto the empty stool right next to him and they both settle in for what is sure to be an exciting game. Sure enough, it's a battle for the ages. Early in the first quarter, Green Bay…

Papa Bear and Mama Bear are getting a divorce You know Goldilocks and the 3 bears? Well mama bear and papa bear are getting a divorce. In court they bring in baby bear. The judge puts baby bear on the stand and asks him who he'd like to live with? "Well not papa bear he beats me," says baby bear. "So mama bear?" asks the Judge. "Oh no she beats me even worse than papa bear," says baby bear. "So who would you like to live with?" the Judge asks curiously. "My grandma bear in Chicago." says b…

Mama and Papa Bear are accused of child abuse. Baby Bear is put on the stand to testify and is asked by the judge, "Do you want to live with Papa Bear?" "No" Baby Bear replies, "he beats me." Then the judge asks, "Do you want to live with Mama Bear?" "No" Baby Bear replies, "she beats me too." So the Judge says, "Who do you want to live with then?" Baby Bear replies, "I want to live with the Chicago Bears, they don't beat anybody!”