Chet Jokes

*breaks into your house at night* *finds your bedroom* *blows on you til you wake up* HI I'M CHET CAN I INTEREST YOU IN A SECURITY SYSTEM?

A man walks into a pet shop He'd like to buy a pet for his lonely, widowed mother. The shop owner shows him all of the usual stuff, hamsters, puppies, kittens, etc. and the man tells the owner that he's looking for something unique. The owner takes him to the back of the shop and introduces him to raggedy looking parrot named Chet. The man, rightfully so, is unimpressed with the parrot until the shop owner tells him that the bird sings Christmas carols. The owner explains that all the man has to…

My friend has a parrot... He comes over and says, ""My parrot Chet can sing if I light a match under his foot. See?"" He lights a match under Chet the parrot's right foot and the parrot starts singing Happy Birthday. ""What happens if we light it under his left foot?"" I ask. We do, and he starts singing 100 Bottles of Beer On The Wall. ""What happens if we light it under his balls?"" I ask. We do, and he starts singing, ""Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire...""

A man on a hunt for the ""perfect"" Christmas gift A man is on the hunt for the ""perfect"" Christmas gift for his wife. He has looked high and low and has not found just the right gift. Time is getting short. It is Christmas Eve and the shops in town are starting to close. The man heads into the pet store; desperate: Clerk: Hello sir, how can I help you? Man: I need the perfect gift for my wife, what do you have? C: I have just the gift! Here is Chet the parrot. M: What is so great about Chet? …

Tommy wanted to get his mom s....... Tommy wanted to get his mom something nice for Christmas but she's hard to shop for. Passing a pet store he thought, ""Hmm, a pet might be a good idea."" He walked in the pet store and asked the manager what might be a good idea...?? ""How about a puppy?"" ""No,"" said Tommy. ""It may poop around the house."" ""A fish?"" ""No, her house is small, so I don't think an aquarium will fit."" Tommy then spied a parrot and asked, ""How about that parrot?"" ""Oh,"" s…

Christmas in July A guy wants to get a really unique gift for his new wife for their fist Christmas together so he walks into a pet store with a sign advetising an amazing singing parrot. He goes to the counter to explain his situation and inquires about the bird. The shop keeper explains the bird would be perfect and takes the man over to show him what the bird can do. The shop keeper explains that the bird's name is Chet and that he works on cues then produces a book of matches from his pocket…

John gets a Christmas parrot John decided to get his wife a Christmas present. Maybe a puppy. Walking in to the pet store, he searches for the right puppy. ""Excuse me sir, are you looking for a Christmas present?"" the clerk asked. ""Yes, I think she would like a puppy,"" John replies. ""Here,"" motioning towards the back of the store, ""we have a very special bird, Chet. He sings Christmas carols. See, light a match and hold it under his left foot."" The parrot begins to sing, ""Silent night, …

My dad's lame holiday joke During the holiday season, a man is aimlessly drifting around a shopping center, wondering what to get his wife for Christmas. Wandering into a pet store, he asks the shop assistant, ""Hey, buddy, you got anything with a Christmas-type theme in here?"" ""Well, there is Chet, the parrot,"" the assistant replies. Chet looks like any normal parrot, nothing special, so the guy asks, ""What's so Christmassy about him?"" ""Well, he can sing Christmas carols,"" says the assis…

One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for his wife. The shop owner suggested a parrot, named Chet, which could sing famous Christmas carols. This seemed like the perfect gift. ""How do I get him to sing?"" The young man asked, excitedly. ""Simply hold a lighted match directly under his feet."" was the shop owner's reply. The shop owner held a lighted match under the parrot's left foot. Chet began to sing: ""Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! .…

Chet the chicken Chet came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, "You died in your sleep, Chet'" Chet was stunned. "I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!" St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken." Chet was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home.. The next thing…

My favorite Christmas joke A few days before Christmas, a man enters a pet store looking for a unique gift for his wife. The store manager tells him he has just what he's looking for! A beautiful parrot named Chet that sings Christmas carols. He brings the husband over to a colorful but quiet bird. The man agrees that Chet certainly is pretty, but he doesn't seem to be much for singing. The manager tells him to watch as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a lighter. The manager then cli…

Two hunters shot a deer, and were dragging him to the car by the hind leg, which was difficult because the other legs kept snagging in the brush. "Chet, I've got an idea, I think we are doing this wrong. Let's try dragging him by the horns, like we were advised by the ammo store salesman." "OK" says Ivan. After a while, Ivan says, "I think this is a lot better because his legs fold up and don't get caught in the brush, but we seem to be getting farther from the car!"