My dad's lame holiday joke During the holiday season, a man is aimlessly drifting around a shopping center, wondering what to get his wife for Christmas. Wandering into a pet store, he asks the shop assistant, ""Hey, buddy, you got anything with a Christmas-type theme in here?"" ""Well, there is Chet, the parrot,"" the assistant replies. Chet looks like any normal parrot, nothing special, so the guy asks, ""What's so Christmassy about him?"" ""Well, he can sing Christmas carols,"" says the assistant. ""Really?"" ""Yup,"" says the assistant. ""Lemme show ya. See, all ya gotta do is light a match and hold it under his left foot, like so, and Chet'll go..."" ""Awrrk! Frosty the Snowman was a jolly happy soul..."" Chet sings. ""Wow, that's amazing! Does he do any more?"" ""Sure does! Now, if you hold the match under his right foot instead, he'll go..."" ""Awrrk! Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, had a very shiny nose..."" Chet sings. Well, now the guy is really impressed, but he has to ask, ""Does Chet know any more carols?"" ""Oh, sure, he knows one more! See, if you hold the match BETWEEN his two feet, he goes..."" ""Awrrk! Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire...""